4-15-25

The other day the lovely Charlene and I were traveling….at some point we

stopped for gas and coffee and I decided to pick up a protein bar…..I waded

through the selections of various brands and styles looking for one that would not

taste like iced cardboard and also not be filled with diabetes inducing sugars…..I

finally settled on one that claimed to be “cookies and cream” flavored….fine…..I

made my purchases and headed to the car…..as I was about to pull out of the

parking lot I grabbed my 4 ounces of protein packed sustenance and I couldn’t

help but notice that package had some additional information that left me with

more questions than answers…..apparently my 30g of protein cookies and cream

bar was really just a “flavor inspired bar”……flavor inspired…..what does that even

mean?.....well, I’ll tell you what it means…..it means I bought fake food!.....fake as

a snake oil salesman….fake as a magician at the neighbor kids birthday

party……fake “flavor inspired food”……how did they actually become so inspired

to make a bar of sustenance using flavors that were so unreal in their reality that

the label had to read “flavor inspired”……I don’t like fake stuff…..it bugs

me…..flavor inspired……

It reminds me of a time when I was a kid and succumbed to one of those ads that

made everything seem so cool!......we’re talking back in the 70’s when leisures

suits were actually called stylish…..we’re talking about the time when comic

books sold you the idea that you could buy a dehydrated pack of shrimp larvae

because they were called “Sea Monkeys” and they would magically form the lost

city of Atlantis in a fishbowl right there on your dresser……it was a time when

anything goes in advertising…..and it was no different when I ordered what had to

be the coolest record album ever! …….”Sensational 70’s Hits!” with songs like

“Convoy”, “Love Rollercoaster”, and more……you’ll be cool, bring your record to

the party and all your friends will be amazed!.....for the low low price of $19.99

this 2 record set by the Original Artists will be on your hit list for ever……it was

saving up my allowance and birthday money time! I was going to have the coolest

album ever! With all of the greatest hits of my time and all sung by the Original

Artists…..except, imagine my 10 year old surprise when I got the album in the mail

and it didn’t sound quite right……but the guy on TV, he said it was all sung by the

Original Artists!.....yep, you guessed it….that was the name of the cover band that

did the recording …..the band was called “the Original Artists”…..so they really

weren’t lying, I suppose, maybe, but let’s be honest….that album was as fake as a

$3 dollar bill……it was the music industry version of a “flavor inspired bar”……I

hate fakes…..Original Artists……

Having said all of that I’ve got to call out the latest fakery mixed with quackery

mixed with Hollywood botox and spandex…..did you see that Jeff Bezo’s Blue

Origin company just launched a glam group into space?……it was news without

being news…..Blue Origin is a real company with a real mission and really solid

engineers who just allowed themselves to become nothing more than a Saturday

Night Live skit……for reasons that no one can really explain….although I have a

theory……Blue Origin decided it would be cool to launch a crew of elitist society

women wearing custom designed form fitting blue spandex and big hair into

space …..sort of…..for like, several whole minutes……I’m looking at this and

thinking fake fake fake fake fake……did I say fake?......the so-called crew was

made up of pop singer Katy Perry, TV personality and Oprah running buddy Gayle

King, film producer Kerianne Flynn, and Jeff Bezo’s glam wife Lauren Sanchez,

who allegedly designed their barely functional astronaut suits……there were two

actual smart women on board with NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, and

bioastronautics research scientist Amanda Nguyen……they were billed as the crew

of the Blue Origin NS-31 mission from their west Texas launch pad……in reality

they were nothing more than vogue magazine cover passengers……not allowed to

touch anything, don’t hit any buttons, strap yourself in for the 15 minute ride…..it

was cool, I’m sure…..better than Space Mountain at Disneyworld……but was it

really a space mission?.....are our lives better since Blue Origin launched Charlies

Angels into a brief foray above the Karman Line at the internationally recognized

boundary of space?.....they went 62 miles up…..floated for a few minutes…..and

then popped canopy and landed on terra firma……

It was all the rage for the few elitists and news hungry socialites who don’t want

to watch real news…..Orlando Bloom, Oprah Winfrey and Khloe Kardashian were

there for the big event!.....well now…..the interview they did with Elle Magazine

before the flight was very telling…..yes, Elle magazine….not Scientific American, or

Smithsonian, or some engineering journal for academics……but Elle Magazine for

fashionistas and cosmetic surgery specialists……Katy Perry told the pre-flight

interviewer that it was going to be so “glam”…..Gayle King said she hasn’t felt like

this since childbirth and I don’t know what that means……but it was the

interviews afterward that led to awkwardly embarrassing refrains that actual Blue

Origin scientists are cringing over…..

Katy Perry said her short trip to space made her "connected to that strong divine

feminine," ……she went on to praise her team's rigorous "training."……. Wow!

Perry said she felt love when she came down. "You're like really finding the love

for yourself because you gotta trust in yourself on this journey, and then you're

feeling the love when you come down for sure, and you're feeling that

strength."……I don’t know what all of that word salad means, and I don’t think she

does either…..but the social media world ate it up……one person on X said,

“Katy Perry and some other random women were just launched into space on a

Blue Origin rocket for no reason other than to waste money and virtue signal

about women. I’m all for venturing into space but this wasteful wokeness doesn’t

help,”…….

Let’s be honest….if Jeff Bezos called me tomorrow and asked if I would care to

take a flight into the outer edges of the atmosphere at no cost to me…..and give

me a great photo op and a cool spandex suit that makes me look ten years

younger……I’d probably have to take him up on it…..but that ain’t gonna

happen…..and truthfully, this joy ride by a bunch of chicks in spaces probably

shouldn’t have happened either….there was no point….well, maybe there was

one point……just one……okay, maybe two…..

What really happened is that Blue Origin is tired of playing second fiddle to the

SpaceX…..SpaceX is owned by Elon Musk, and just rescued actual astronauts who

were trapped in space…..SpaceX has been launching rockets and then catching

them on a giant scissor pad as they glide down and land on a dime…..SpaceX has

been getting all the attention……so Bezos had to do something….what could he do

to get some love? What could he do to show the world that Blue Origin is really

still out there and working to bring cutting edge space travel to the private

sector……I know! Let’s show the world that I trust my systems so much that I’m

willing to risk the life of my own fiancée!......Hey hon, what are you doing next

Monday! How about I pay for you to have a girls night out? It’ll be fun, new

outfits, lots of selfies…..meanwhile, what he really did is mask his true

intentions….it was surely a promotional event, because let’s be honest, it got

some press…..it was surely a technology event, because let’s be honest they

actually launched an honest to goodness rocket into space……but it was also a

fake…..Jeff Bezos was willing to put his own fiancée at risk for a PR stunt…..he was

willing to pretend that this was okay….just routine, but yet not routine…..it was

the space launch version of a flavor inspired bar….a musical compilation sung by

the Original Artists……it was a snake oil salesman who let his need for his

company to be remembered as a viable alternative to SpaceX become a company

that is willing to put lives at risk needlessly so that the press will pay attention…..

I hate fakes……let’s be honest….these chicks in space were no more than

that…..they didn’t do anything except have their pictures taken and their celebrity

status used…..Jeff Bezos though, he may be the biggest fake of all……he was

willing to strap the love of his life and five of her besties to a 100-ton roman

candle and hope for the best so they could get a photo op for his company……

I hate fakes……

And that’s a wrap for the Rightside Way